Hostile Take-over of U.S. Politics

Hilarious but no joke. I just received an email about a coup on the Flickr group for U.S. Politics! A group that I barely participated in and now, by default, I'm an administrator. Flickr groups apparently operate like third world countries.

NYC Budget

The Mayor's new budget might cause a little damage to NYC:

The Haggis

Classic portrait of the Scotish Haggis Beast - The world's only mammal/reptile symbiont. The reptile part of the Haggis is the ancient MacDugal Dragonis Weenis, the only surviving relative of the once mighty Scottish Dragons. The mammal part is Sheeple Sapiens, a human/sheep hybrid that came into existence several thousand years ago through what is known as "animal husbandry." It is believed that when dragons lost their ability to breath fire, they turned to sheeple for warmth and in return, promised not to eat them. A pretty fair trade except that now we eat them whenever we go to Scotland. Yum!

The Maestro!

Behold, The Maestro! The master of all things musical and theatrical but not of musical theater.

MoCCA Lobster

Last Saturday I attended MoCCA fest. Good times. I've been reading lots of reviews and accounts of the event and am baffled that no one has mentioned the crustacoid creature that came all the way from Venus to sell his comics at MoCCA. Sure his minis were kinda crappy but, as someone who's attended the Fest since its inception, it's cool to see word has spread off world.

2 guys with big heads

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CAD # 36: Cyborg 08: Tor Johnson

Tor Johnson lives! And now he's a cyborg.

CAD # 35: Cyborg 07: Scooter Vermeer

Scooter Vermeer is the king of the papparazi. His left eye is a high rez camera lens. Perfect for covert picture taking. His legs, built for speed can keep him rolling at close to 40mph, more than fast enough to keep up with celebs trying to escape in cars down urban streets. His hands fast enough to stop blows from the most pissed off of actors. This means you, Zsa Zsa Gabor.

CAD # 34: Cyborg 06: Veronica Sonata

Veronica is a (mostly) human juke box. Even before her enhancements she was a natural musician with the ability to play any song after hearing it only once. She's powered by sonic panels that absorb sound. As such, she loves city life and is inspired by its sounds to create
Philip Glass like compositions. She also composes real music.

CAD # 33: Cyborg 05: Karl Schamp

Karl was a truck driver for a major distributor of important stuff. He had stopped to take a nap in his cab at a truck stop in Delaware. When he woke up, he was in an empy warehouse in Alabama. Both arms, his left foot and beard had all been replaced with cyber parts. Karl admits the cyber stuff is pretty cool, but it has ruined his dreams of becoming a
champion arm wrestler. So now, he spends his time searching for the mysterious mad scientists that have stolen his dreams.

CAD # 32: Cyborg 04: Fedor Taschenmesser

This charming fellow has a swiss army knife of thievery tools which extend from his right hand. He has a synthetic liver for superhuman processing of alcohol and other poisons. He also has cranial implants which allow him to communicate with others, like having a cell phone built in his head, and also enhance his hearing to filter through and pick out a conversation going on across a crowded room. He's a master spy but he's really always wanted to direct.

CAD #31: Cyborg 03: Lucinda Longarm

Lucinda's right arm and lower torso have been mechanized! To what end she's a bit shy on revealing. It's hard to be precise, but her arm looks like a short range Asten 7800 Spectral Plasma Beam weapon.

CAD # 30: Cyborg 02: Ninety-Three-Sixteen

Ninety-Three-Sixteen is number 93 in a series of 200 identical cyborgs that are each only 16% organic. These machines roam urban streets picking up and recording signals from all kinds of wireless devices. This particular unit is somehow also able to pick out the ripest, freshest avocados, even when they're not in season. His handlers often send him on mundane chores, though there's nothing mundane about a great avocado.

CAD #29: Cyborg 01: Yan Khai Akih

Akih has a three pronged flexi grip hand, multi-spectrum visual goggle eyes, solar panel hair extensions and a robot purse named Lady Vilma.

CAD: Update

Character - A - Day Update
There are no shortage of characters in NYC so I never worried where the next one would come from. Hipsters, hippies, drunks, druggies, demons, aliens, politicians - they're all here. Even the occasional cyborg. Occasional until recently. I've started seeing cyborgs everywhere. I took a few weeks off from my CAD blogging to research why.
The simple answer to why I'm seeing more cyborgs is, there ARE more cyborgs. DARPA and their civilian counterparts are creating all kinds of hybrid folks. Everything from a human with a single robotic limb to a robot with human organs.
Because I've found so many of them, for at least the next few weeks, this blog will look more like Cyborg-A-Day.
I hope you dig it.

CAD #28: Pa Rocket

Pa Rocket was an angry old man. " I only got so many years left, damnit!" he was fond of saying, while waiting on line for a bus, or elevator, or his urologist's office.
Tired of wasting his time waiting, Pa Rocket, true to his name, built a rocket. Now he doesn't wait for anything. Except that damn urologist.

CAD #27: Bunny Monger

1978: Sitting in her high school biology class, stoned, Bunny had an epiphany. She would cross breed rabbits with dachshunds and make the perfect pet.

1982: Still stoned, sitting in her parents back yard with five dachshunds and 414 rabbits it finally sinks in that this cross breading won't work. Bunny gets rid of her rabbits and tries to breed dachshunds to look like rabbits.

1987: Same back yard. Bunny sells the dachshunds and buys some rabbits.

1987: Success! Breeding the rabbits to be longer is working.

1997: Bunny, almost making a living as a boutique breeder, hits the big time when her Dachshund-Kaninchen Breed becomes all the rage Germany.

2010: On the German version of Top Chef, Stephan Schmieren wins by making one of Bunny's rabbits into schnitzel with a side of spaetzle. Yum!

CAD # 26: Marilu Rigales

Marilu RIgales has spent her whole life running away from love. She has sworn that it will never catch her even if it's the only thing that can lift the heavy shroud of loneliness that surrounds her heart. AND she makes a great bundt cake.

CAD # 25: Thurston Shimmel

Thurston is a retired health inspector. He lives a comfortable but lonely life. One of his great pleasures is walking his neighbor's dog, Ollie, every morning at 5am. Thurston's neighbors don't know he wanders into their house every morning to borrow their dog for a walk.

CAD # 24: Alien Demon Knight Thingie

This isn't good. CAD - Character A Day seems to be turning into CEOD - Character Every Other Day. No nonononono. That's no good. I'll have to start a new blog to do that and I can't get anyone to read this one. SO, here's todays character




Tomorrow there will be a new character. TO - MORROW. A new character. End of story. Unless I'm busy. Got a lot going on tomorrow. No. No, a character tomorrow, will appear, right here on this blog. If I can get around to it.

CAD # 23: Trida May Jick

Trida May Jick lives in a lamp. She doesn't own the whole lamp. It's a condo. Her place is a duplex with a view of the lamps handle. Her condo/lamp is on top of a bookshelf, in a bedroom, in a penthouse in Astoria. Trida was just elected treasurer of her condo board. Congratulations Trida May!

CAD # 22: Galdur Fifteen

Little is known about the Icelandic government's secret robotics program but rumors about a fleet of metal men powered by witchcraft abound. They abound I say! Here's a sketch of Galdur Fifteen who is believed to be the latest in the series of these magic robots.

CAD # 21: King Weasel

CAD # 20: Phineas Phungus

Dude, he's a freakin gigantic, walking mushroom. Giant. Like fifteen feet tall! And he makes his own beer. In a still in his basement. Not from any freaky, giant mushroom bodily function. That would be gross.

CAD#19: Drake The Paranoid Razorback Clurgin

Like most razorback clurgins, Drake lives on the floating, disembodied head of an Ancient One. While most clurgins are pretty relaxed, Drake is terrified that someone is trying to push him off the head he lives on.

CAD #18: Albert Schweitzer Puklich

The exact opposite of his namesake, this Albert Schweitzer has absolutely no redeeming qualities.

CAD #17: Goldie Watch

I ran into this tourist from Switzerland in Times Square. She has a mystical golden watch that magically stops you from not knowing what time it is.

CAD #16: Glass Eye Sally

You've never heard of a mobster named Glass Eye Sally and you'll forget her name if you know what's good for you.

CAD #15: Miss Anna Swing

Queen of the neighborhood watch! Nothing gets burgled when this babe's at bat.

Florida Land

After 2 weeks worth of CAD ( Character - A - Day ), I'm taking a week off as we travel to the exotic land of Florida. I don't think this lazy little back water country has the internets yet so no posts until we're back on 1/15/09.

Wack The Wild Things

Since my son was born in September, the wife and I have had few opportunities to go to the movies. And by few I mean zero. With all the holiday blockbusters we could no longer wait to run out and see something that's supposed to be great. Baby sitter secured, we went to the local mega-plex and set our sights on Avatar. All five theaters it was playing in for the next three hours were sold out. Oh well. Up In The Air would be a not too shabby runner-up choice. Also sold out for the next three hours. Along with The Fantastic Mr. Fox and every other flick at the theater. So, we gave up on movies and went out to find a great restaurant. On our stroll we came across a small, art house theater. They were showing Where The Wild Things Are! How could I pass this up? Aside from nostalgia factor, has Spike Jonez ever made a bad movie? In we went.
Brilliant! I don't like spoilers, so I'd read almost nothing about it and was surprised by the darkness, the angst and anger the film contains. The one thing that stuck out like a sore paw was James Gandolfini. He was great. His voice fit the character to a tee. The problem is he was playing Tony Soprano. The exact same sociopathic personality in furry, Wild Thing form. Rather than losing myself in that incredibly created fantasy world, it's the one thing that brought me out of the film. It knocked down the fourth wall as I waited for Tony to have Max wacked. I hope it's not a spoiler to tell you that that didn't happen.

CAD #14: Abigail Forehead

Retired roller derby legend Abigail Forehead now spends her days rocking and rolling along the highways and byways of North America singing songs about the swampland and also about her days in the roller derby. Mostly the latter. As she belts out her tunes, Abigail Forehead's crisp, smokey, alto voice is often drowned out by the surrounding traffic. For this we are grateful.

CAD #13: 'phermaid

Half human woman, half gopher, the 'phermaid lures farmers to their deaths with her sweet siren song. Not many farmers. Just the ones attracted to gophers.

CAD #12: Strutter Ace

You can tell by the way he uses his walk, he's a woman's man. If you talk to him, he'll tell you all about it. Especially if you're a woman. His strut is a smooth, subtly choreographed motion that was patented by his grandfather, Swinger Ace. Strutter's contribution to future generations is the addition of a super sharp goatee which he swears makes him more aerodynamic. It makes the strut a fluid, living force which attracts women like nobody's business. Ask him if it's true and Strutter will tell you, "It's none of your business."